Shootin' up! HAH!

Well this morning was my hormone blood work and my class to show how to mix and inject solutions.  The purpose for these injections are for me to mass produce follicles.  In each ovary the average woman has multiple follicles, I actually had 11 in one and 13 in the other- which is pretty good.  In some of these follicles there will be eggs but not necessarily in each one.  Their hope with these first injections are to produce and mature follicles with eggs in them.  This is the stimulation phase.  I will go in every other day for blood work and an ultrasound for them to check my hormone levels and to also look at the follicles to see when they will be ready for retrieval.  After about 7 days of these two I will start taking another injection which will stop me from ovulating, so I can hold on to what follicles/eggs I have.  Thomas and I will both be on antibiotics prior to my egg retrieval and his sample delivery(again poor guy..)  Lacy is currently on injections so that she doesn't ovulate and to get her uterus ready for transfer. Our tentative retrieval date is scheduled for January 10th and the trasfer will be 3-5 days after.  During the 10th through the 15th they will be monitoring the embryos to see the development and will choose two once they are ready for transfer.  I am absolutely being realistic about all of this, but I have never felt so good about something.  I feel whether it takes or it doesn't God has some amazing things in store for this little family of ours.. whether it's Thomas and I or we add a little one(maybe two).  I feel like God has had his hand in all of this from the very start and with that I can't go wrong.  If it doesn't take I honestly don't think of it as a loss or that we're missing something.  I married my husband because I love him for him, and it's always been us against the world.  Putting our journey out there has made us absolutely vulnerable for a number of emotions, but to know that we are helping people with their feelings through their own journeys makes every feeling worth it!  I took two injections tonight, Gonal-F and Menopur.. not going to lie the menopur burns but the Gonal-F wasn't too bad.  I've already googled all the side effects--- BAD IDEA!  HAha!  I mean as we sit here I'm thinking the side effects are already taking place, really probably not but my mind is going 100 miles an hour.  I've been on a steriod since Friday and not to be TMI but my boobs feel like they are going to explode and I feel so bloated (like I haven't been to the bathroom in forever) and I have battled to keep my sugar under 200 which is extremely frustrating only because I want everything to go smoothly and I want my body to be in the best condition it can be in!  We don't say enough how blessed we are to have the support system we have.  I hurt so bad for the couples that go through any of this process alone.  It's not easy, it's an emotional roller coaster.. To anyone reading this that thinks they are in this journey alone, you're not.. I promise there are so many couples that are in the same boat and just as scared to talk about it.  The one person who will never turn their back on you will be God, my faith has never been stronger.  When you're at the bottom and have ran out of options he will never fail you and his timing is always right whether you believe it or not.  Well I'm off to bed... I think my ovaries are already swelling--- not really but it's going to happen!! :) #babybray

Baseline appointment

Well this morning I had my baseline appointment.  What this is for is to take a look at my ovaries to see what they look like after 3 weeks of birth control and to see follicles prior to any hormone injections.  I will go in Tuesday morning for blood work in the morning and I will also take. Class to show how and when to do the injections(after 18 years of diabetes I should be a pro) haha!   We have one more Christmas to attend tomorrow and then we will be done with our Christmas celebrations.  We had a great time at the Bray Christmas on Wednesday and we celebrated my sides yesterday at our house!  We really enjoy having one a our house, we changed up the traditional Christmas meal and had homeade Mexican food instead and it was delicious!!  My mom couldn't resist and gave us a bear that says The Lord's Prayer and a small little pre-baby book... Which of course made me cry!  I wouldn't say tears of sadness or joy, just tears of bring overwhelmed.  Everything has moved so fast.. It doesn't seem like all of this started in September.  So hard to believe in two weeks we will be getting ready for my egg retrieval!  The whole process is so amazing!  Since my last entry we have had two people come forward- one went to college with Thomas and one was his professor.. Bob families are going thorough the IVF process.  These are the reasons we have out our story out there, to help others and if nothing else just be an ear to listen-- to be able to say I understand whatyou're going   through.  Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind.  I know in my heart and mind that God has choose us for this journey for a reason and we are blessed.  Whether at the end of this we have a Baby in our arms or just each other each step of it has been absolutely worth it.  God chose Lacy and Paul to share in this journey with us and he sure knee what he was doing because they are so much more than family to us.  It takes an extremely special person to open their hearts and minds to this.  They have done it with with both and for them to come to us with this gift is 100% God sent.  To those of you reading this that need an ear, I'm here.  To those of you that want to know, ask.  Please don't assume something that you know nothing about.  We say our prayers every night and most of the time I'm praying for people that need guidance of their own.. I'm by no means perfect but The Lord thinks I'm good just the way I am, and at the end of the day that's the only approval I need.

Busy as a Bee!!

WoooooWeee!!  The past 2 weeks have been absolutely crazy!  During our trip to Fort Worth, we got a call that Thomas' grandfather, "Giffa" as he was called had passed away.  The week before we also lost a close friend of the family whose funeral was the Tuesday prior.  They always say God doesn't give you more than you can hangle and I am a firm believer in that!  I feel that God has put everything in our path for a reason.. and by no means do I think I'm the strongest person around to deal with things but I do have my faith and so does Thomas.  We came home early to get prepared for the services and headed to San Antonio.  The services were absolutely beautiful.  Thomas' Giffa and Nanny's love for each other is undeniable.  They have the love that people talk about having or dream of having.  They have stuck with each other through it all and will until they both reach eternal life.  I would like to think that Thomas and I will be there some day.  Yes we get on each others nerves, we bicker and I probably nag too much but there is no one on this earth I would rather travel through this life with.  We were able to see family that we don't get to see very often and that is always nice, just would have been better under different circumstances.  We got to see Thomas' sister Allison and his cousins wife who are expecting a week apart!!  My mom saw them both and she thinks Allison is going to have a boy and Shalyn a girl, can't wait to see what they will be! 

Things seem to be moving so quickly!  Next Friday the 26th I will be going in for all of my baseline ultrasound and blood work.  The 30th I will start my injections and I believe Lacy will start hers this weekend!  I pray everything goes smoothly for her.  Some of her injections will be uncomfortable and the last thing I want for her is to be uncomfortable.  She has 3 appointments tomorrow in order to prepare for everything.  She has been so helpful and open to everything while having a life of her own.. I don't know how she does it!  We're going to have to find away to send her and Paul on a major vacation after all of this!  This time next month we will have already done this transfer and should be on our way- God willing!  Tonight I have to tie Thomas down to initial 50 pages for our gestational agreement and we have to have it notarized and faxed to the attorney.  We have to have a contract and lawyer through all of this in order for our doctor to treat Lacy.  Medications should be here any day now.  If you could say an extra prayer for Lacy.. she is so strong, but the past week has been very trying loosing Giffa-- he was her #1 guy and if you knew him you would know why.  Just another note to add.. Ive been on birth control for 11 days now and I feel like I am either extremely bloated or Ive gained a few pounds!  Ahhh what the heck!  Anyways, Thomas just got home so we need to get started with this paper work! One more thing, throw in an extra prayer for anyone you know that might be going through IVF.. a former co-worker has gone public with her blog and has received a little negativity.. Remember, not one of us had all of this in mind.  Trust me I'm sure we would all love to be able to get pregnant without a problem, and until you have not been given that chance don't judge, point fingers or try to understand because you never will.. But do have a heart and think before you speak.  As I've said before if you have children and were able to conceive with no problems.. you're blessed in that situation, we're just blessed in different ways. Until next time! #babybray 

This is 50 pages of initials!!

Our yearly December vacation.. Sort of!

Well we are officially on our "futurity vacation".. Every year we come the second week in December. I save one of my two weeks of vacation to spend here.  Everyday there is a sale and we watch the cutting each day.  We so enjoy coming even though at times it seems more work than play; I wouldn't change  it for the world.  We have been able to see so many people we don't get to see very often.  Everyone we have seen has been so supportive and excited for us.  Most of these people have known Thomas for mAny years.  We are hoping that next year not only will we have one more little person with us, but that Thomas might be showing up here.  I can't wait to get his horse ready and cheer him through a run on the floor of the collesium!  I started my birth control pills on Saturday and will continue to take then until the 26th.  Unfortunately I think they are making my blood sugars spike, not 100% sure but my sugars have been a little higher than normal.  This is the only thing I worry about also when I start the injections on the 30th.   I still can't believe how fast everything is moving. This afternoon we have a phone interview with our lawyer, she will go over the agreement and get the contract together.  We recently found out some friends of our are expecting and we are so excited for them.. They have had a few rough patches along the way and things are looking great now.  Thomas' sister is also expecting and I am so glad the cats out of the bag because with my big mouth it's hard to keep quiet about all of the exciting things happening!  We have 3 nieces and 3 nephews so I can't wait to see what the next one is going to be.  I think she's going to have a girl and it will be a little fashionista and I will probably go broke hah!  Either way we want healthy for Allison and chase, they are two that have also leaned much on their faith to guide them and with that you can't go wrong!  On the way to Fort Worth this past weekend Thomas said you know this could be our last trip up here just you and I... Wow did that hit home!  I have to admit I love it just Thomas and I.. We just seem to fit.  Neither one of us feel that we are missing anything and would both be content with it that way.. But I think part of that is the feeling we've had in the past that it might not ever happen so we learned that it will be okay with just us.  Now that this door has opened, it's really all I think about is dong everything with a baby! I've already got it planned out.. How we can ride in the round pin with a playpen in the middle with the little one hanging out until we can strap them on with us!  Well I'm starting to ramble now.. Until next time!

Yesterday was our IVF consult and Lacy's first appointment.  We could not have asked for it to go any better.  We were able to see a friend of ours in the waiting room and she was able to talk Lacy through some of the things she will have to do over the next couple of weeks which really helped.  When they called us back for the IVF consult we all four went in to the room.  I wanted Lacy and Paul to both be in there in case they had any questions about anything.. this is as much about them as is us.  We weren't in the rooms just a few minutes before they called Lacy back for her procedure.  She would be put under for comfort.  They used a small scope to go inside her uterus to clean the lining and check for any cysts.  Dr. Allon was extremely pleased and said it could not have looked any better- Phew!  During the IVF consult it was Thomas, Paul and I... for those of you that know Paul and Thomas you can only imagine the things that were going on in there! HAHA!  Aurora is the coordinator for all of the IVF procedures.  She went over the process in its entirety and we had to sign numerous consent forms.  She also gave me a tentative calendar for the next 6 weeks.  Basically I will be on birth control pills for 20 days- starting on December 6th.  On December 26th, they will do my baseline ultrasound and blood-work.  Starting December 30th I will start two hormone injections daily and then it will switch to three.  After I start those every two days after I will need a hormone blood test in the AM and they will call me with any dosage changes I need to make.  After 3 blood-work appointments it will move to blood-work and ultrasound for the next 4 appointments.  They have scheduled the egg retrieval for January 10th, which would make the transfer for January 15th!!  During this time Lacy will have to take an injection to get her body ready for the transfer.  She is such a brave woman and so strong.  I don't think her or Paul really realize what they are doing for us.  None of this would even be possible with out them, and we are so thankful and blessed to share this with them.   AHHH!!  It is all extremely overwhelming in a good way.  This process has made me to realize so much about myself and my relationship with God.  Last night at bible study I told everyone that Thomas and I are not looking for any sympathy- because there is nothing to be sad about.  We have been given an opportunity that most may never get.  We know people that have tried IVF and the cycle didn't take, and yes that very well could be us.  However, I will not let my fear of what could happen keep me from following in God's path that he has set before us.  I hope one day our little one(s) can read through this blog and know how much I love him/her before they were even in the making.  I want them to be able to see that we have so much love and support around us and people we don't even know are pulling for us.  This baby or babies is already blessed beyond belief and so are his or her parents--which would be us! :)  I prayed this morning for all the people struggling with any type of conception and I prayed for the people that take it for granted.  I feel we are all blessed just in different ways and we should all be thankful.  We received again a gift yesterday and again all I could do was cry... it is all happy tears.  It is so unreal to see that some of the people around us, what this for us as much as we do.  We love you all and thank you for sharing in this journey with us!  Here are two pictures from yesterday's appointment!   I knew we made the right decision with Dr. Allon when one of his nurses was discussing the amount of faith they all have.  She told Lacy and I to both keep our faith and we would have a successful treatment.  They also told us that before most procedures they would pray with us and over us. 

Best patient of the year award!

There will be an eternal bond between the two of us.  Our baby will grow in her belly and in our hearts!