Big day tomorrow!

Well we are moving right along!  Tomorrow is our IVF consult.  Lacy and Paul are coming to stay with us tonight and we will all go to the appointment in the morning.  They will discuss everything in detail with us and go over our results again along with Lacy's.  She will have to be sedated tomorrow and have what is called a hysterscope done.  They will take a look at her uterus and basically clean the lining to prepare it for the transfer.  I am extremely nervous for her.  I know she is super tough, but I want everything to go as smoothly as possible for her and Paul.  They are taking time out of their life to travel down here for these appointments and Lacy is basically giving us her body for the next 9-10 months... still can't grasp all of this.  We will both have to be on hormone injections which I also am a little nervous about.  I'm nervous for myself because I hope they don't make me too mean (haha) and I am hoping with the extra hormones it won't make my blood sugars go crazy.  For Lacy, I am worried that they will be uncomfortable for her and hopefully they will not make her feel bad.  She has told me time and time again that she isn't worried about any of it and she will be fine but I can't help but wish for everything to go very easy and smoothly.  We are hoping if everything keeps going smoothly to be ready for my egg retrieval, and Thomas will give another sample(poor thing) early January and five days later the transfer will take place.. then two weeks later we will be ready for a pregnancy test.  At 6 weeks is when we will do an ultrasound to look for a heartbeat or beats!! Thomas and I could not have picked a better couple to share this amazing journey with.  They remind us so much of ourselves.  They are both funny and giving.. one is a little more easy going-like Thomas and the other is a little more high strung- like myself!  This weekend Thomas and I went to a horse sale that he has been going to as long as he can remember.. we were able to see people who are like family but we only get to see a few times a year.  Thomas actually told people on his own about our journey.  I can't even put to words how that makes me feel.  Throughout this process I have worried so much about him and how he truly feels about everything and to see him opening up to people makes me so happy.  I have always been one to open up to people, sometimes maybe too easily.  I have always felt that I have nothing to hide and I am an open book.  I know that by being that way, hopefully somewhere along the way I have helped someone with their life struggles.  I've had a few emotional breakdowns here and there over the past few weeks but Thomas and I have so much support from not only each other but our family and friends.  We received 3 checks via mail this week and again are overwhelmed.  I can't help but cry out of joy.  To know that people have taken the time to send us a letter and a gift with it is just overwhelming.  I pray that one day there will be some way for us to repay everyone... even if it is just to pray for them or help them get through a struggle no matter what it might be.  I've got to get moving on getting the house ready for our guests.  I'm trying to decorate for Christmas and make sure the house is spic n span!  I did hang up the stockings today.. one for Thomas, Dad, Callie, Gus and myself.  When I was done I couldn't help but stare and think to myself maybe next year we will be adding one.. or maybe 2!!  Just one more thing before I go.. To those of you that don't understand why Thomas and I are taking this journey, if you have a child I want you to look at them and think about if you didn't have them.  I will never expect anyone (unless you have taken this journey before) to truly understand what is is like to want something with your whole heart and not have it.  To those of you that think we are "playing God", I pray for you... I pray that tonight you sit down and have a talk with the big man.  I know Thomas and I have week after week after week and without him this door would have never opened.  I also want you to know that I don't dislike you and I'm not mad for you not supporting our decision, a quote the other day said it best.." Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey.  They don't need to, it's not for them."  Well I better get off this thing.. hopefully tomorrow I will be posting great news!! #babybray